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Georgiana in “The Birthmark” responsible for her own tragedy
To what extent is Georgiana in “The Birthmark” responsible for her own tragedy? Could the story be read from a feminist perspective?
Description
I have a opportunity to revise my essay and I just need some help. My professor left some notes on my essay that I will upload. My professor said I need help with this: You make several good arguments about Aylmer and Georgiana. You mainly need to work on organization. Begin each supporting paragraph with a topic sentence that directly supports your thesis and states the point of that paragraph. I think the last sentence of your conclusion would make a better thesis. Then you could support your thesis with a paragraph on perfection, a paragraph on sacrifice, and a paragraph on submission. Good outside source, but use it in your supporting paragraphs, not in your conclusion.More detailed comments are on your essay and rubric, which are attached.
Composition II
Essay 1 Optional Revision Guidelines
Format: MLA, Double-spaced, 1-inch margin, Times New Roman, size 12 font
Word count: 750 Words
Sources: At least one reliable outside source in addition to the story itself
Due Date: October 30-Nov 1, 2020- A drop box will be open just for the revision.
Your revision is optional. Choosing not to revise will not count against you. Only those who made a B or below may choose to revise.
Start with higher order concerns: Thesis, supporting paragraphs with topic sentences, organization, outside source and citation (in text and works cited page). Make sure you follow MLA instructions for citation.
Then move onto medium order concerns: sentence structure, correct and effective word choice.
o Sentence structure concerns include comma splices, run-on sentences, fragments, awkwardly structured or confusing sentences.
o Word choice concerns include using appropriate, college level words that effectively convey your meaning AND fit in with the context of your sentence. Make sure you know the meanings of your words.
| Literary Analysis Final Draft Grading Evaluation | Total Points Possible | 100 | Total Points Earned | 0 | |
| Pts. Possible | Pts. Earned | Comments | |||
| Ideas/Content: Ideas are strong. Thesis includes a clear position on the topic. Supported with effective, specific, relevant details from the text. Body of the paper is at least 750 words and contains no summary. | 40 | 35 | You make several good arguments in your essay. I think the first sentence of your conclusion may work better as your thesis. You have a good outside source, but use it in your supporting paragraphs instead of in your conclusion. | ||
| Organization:Clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Writing is structured to enhance meaning. Transitions are used to move from point to point. Transitions provide logical sequence appropriate for the purpose. Each paragraph begins with an original statement that connects to the thesis. | 10 | 6 | Work on organizing your supporting paragraphs. Begin each paragraph with a topic sentence that states the point of that paragraph and directly supports the thesis. | ||
| Word Choice:Language rich, effective, natural, precise, and vivid. Words used to convey images appropriate to audience and purpose. Vocabulary is varied, specific and accurate.Appropriate for college level writing. | 5 | 4 | State the characters’ names instead of using phrases like “the husband.” | ||
| Sentence Fluency: Sentence structures vary and contain no major flaws such as run-on sentences, fragments, and verb errors. Sentences add interest and flow to text. Strong control over simple and complex sentence structures. | 15 | 10 | Several of your sentences need revision for structure and clarity. See my comments. You have one or two run-on sentences. | ||
| Mechanics: The paper reflects correctness of expression and has been edited for spelling, style, grammar, and punctuation. | 10 | 6 | I made minor punctuation corrections. Enclose the title of the story in quotation marks. | ||
| MLA Formatting:Paper is double spaced. 12 pt. Times Roman Font. | 5 | 4 | You use MLA format, but be sure to provide correct due date. Turn in a clean copy of your essay, not a copy with the corrections. | ||
| Works Cited: The story itself and at least one scholarly outside source are cited within the essay and on a separate works cited page. Both are correctly cited according to MLA format. | 15 | 11 | Good job on works cited page. In your essay, introduce your outside source in the body of your sentence before quoting it. When citing the story, cite only quotations from the story or specific instances. | ||
| Submission Instructions: Essay is submitted to drop box, and a printed copy is submitted in folder. | -5 | Followed submission instructions. | |||
